HNUM²

And coming hot on the heels of #7, it’s number 6.

Mike and the Bots are still stuck over Ancient Rome, the Mads are held captive and the movie stars (although Tom has doubts that this movie actually stars anyone) that guy from Diabolik. The presence of a beefy guy that screams like a girl means it’s not Diabolik. The giant basement warehouse in space can only mean one thing. It’s the Amazingly Idiotic Productions presentation of…

When the Brain-Guy finally manages to get something right and send the guys on the SOL the movie it gets off to a punny start. Who’d ever think that giving someone with the last name Cox the nickname “tiny” would be such fun.
There are some other very funny credit based jokes and references. The writer, Maria Danté leads to a “seven levels of hell” reference, the several editors in an attempt to save the movie. And of course, Produced, Directed and Completely Botched by David Winters.

The movie itself gets of to a very Battlestar Galactica-y start. Mostly due to the Battlestar Galactica footage. Followed swiftly by bad explosions and a beefy girly man. And Santa, who becomes the early contender for funniest running gag of the episode. “What of the little children and their toys?“, Santa’s playing freecell, I don’t know if this helps, but Ho Ho Ho and Come this way “I’ll show you where my Elves are working day and night” are some early good ones.
Very soon, though, a challenger appears. Mike and the Bots decide to rename the hero with a more suitable name. Slab Bulkhead being the first, and 30 or 40 later it’s rounded out with Roll Fizzlebeef.

But between Slab Bulkhead and Roll Fizzlebeef there’s so much more to this movie. There’s people falling over railings, jumping over railings, getting shot and falling over railings. There’s high speed floor polisher chases, too many continuity errors for the guys to catch them all (for example, guy jumpushed over railings, TP’d and his magic glasses fall back on his face), repeating parties, repeating explosions, resurrecting ladies and lots and lots of Kalgon-laughing. And Bellarians. Which I’m not quite sure what they are. Or what their purpose is. Other than to dance around sensually.

The final montage of Mikes peoples music, and the resulting fight is definitely the icing on the cheese-cake.

As for the host segments… Every one of them are winners.  Crow, again, gets confused as to his identity.  Crow certainly makes a fetching Bellarian, Tom buffs up into a… beefcake, Tom is inspired by the movie to install safety railings and Pearl, Brain-Guy and Bobo face death in ancient Rome.  Not to mention Tom and Crow having a dogfight in space, spawning one of my favourite MST lines of all time (“Eat munchy crunchy chocolaty cocoa death Crow”)

Here’s some other funny bits…

It’s Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God
Special effects by Industrial Light and Morons.
It’s gonna Blow “If the first 10 minutes are any indication this movie’s gonna blow”
Would anyone else like to confuse freedom with treason? “I’d like to confuse bok choy with cabbage, sir.”
Listen Lady. Doctor. “Doctor Lady”
Doesn’t this basement make the spaceship bottom heavy
She’s got an armadillo down her trousers
The boiler room has a receptionist?

And a couple more Santa jokes…
Santa looks at Dr Lady disappointedly “You’re getting a lump of coal”
Ho Ho, HO. Finally Christmas comes to Santa

And because I’m sure you want to know, here’s the many names of Dave Ryder.
* Slab Bulkhead
* Bridge Largemeat
* Punt Speedchunk
* Butch Deadlift
* Hold Bigflank
* Splint Chesthair
* Flint Ironstag
* Bolt Vanderhuge
* Thick McRunfast
* Blast Hardcheese
* Buff Drinklots
* Crunch Slamchest
* Fist Rockbone
* Stump Beefnaught
* Smash Lampjaw
* Punch Rockgroin
* Buck Plankchest
* Stump Junkman
* Dirk Hardpec
* Rip Steakface
* Slate Slabrock
* Crud Bonemeal
* Brick Hardmeat
* Rip Slagcheek
* Punch Sideiron
* Gristle McThornbody
* Slate Fistcrunch
* Buff Hardback
* Bob Johnson (oh, wait…)
* Blast Thickneck
* Crunch Buttsteak
* Slab Squatthrust
* Lump Beefbroth
* Touch Rustrod
* Beef Blastbody
* Big McLargehuge
* Smoke Manmuscle
* Beat Punchmeat
* Hack Blowfist
* Roll Fizzlebeef