HNUM²

The first thing you notice about this is that the acting isn’t totally awful. Pretty awful admittedly, but there were some shining moments.

The next thing you notice is that the scenes they have to act are totally awful… Starting with a spooky halloweeny game “this offal here is really my granny’s brains.” Moving swiftly on to the long scene of two women preening in front of the mirror.

And quickly on to the “I don’t drink or have sex, I’m the good girl who was voted most likely to survive” scene. Oh, and “I’m the clichéd character number two” also crops up here. “And three” and so on, until we get to the Scream-lite “I think I have the urges of a mass murderer.”

Next comes the greatest set up for killings ever. “I need you all to leave the house so I can set up a spooky thing for you all”.

When they return, the stage is set for them to be picked off one by one by the least scary, but most psychic killer ever. “I knew you would be coming past here, this place where it would be unlikely that you would stumble, perfectly timed, into my trap.” Even more so than every other slasher.

There are some nice kills though. If I had to get slashered to death, I’d love death by homage.